Paco & John (restaurant review).

Yesterday, my wife and I took our five-year-old for his post-op visit to the ophthalmologist. The doctor’s office is currently located at Harris Hospital. Our boy has had a rough go of it in his recovery from ptosis corrective surgery. But, the good doctor assured us that his experience is within the range of normal and there is no concern that he’s in trouble.

After the appointment, we decided to have lunch. It was time to eat. We were hungry. There was a slight mood of celebration. And, we thought it would do Turner some good to start to get out and about just a bit, rather than take him straight back home to the couch.

We opted for Paco and John, our first visit there.

The place appears to be an old convenience store or gas station. The decor is decidedly casual, with laminate booths and plastic table cloths. Still, someone paid attention to the details. A subtle gray color palette was employed throughout, giving the place a clean, muted appearance.

Don’t let the exterior fool you. The downscale ambience is in direct contrast to the upscale fare. On the day of our visit, the chalk board listed the specials: duck enchiladas, scallops with mango, cream of carrot soup.

Clearly, this isn’t your average Mexican place. In fact, according to an article by Deborah Ferguson, Paco & John was created by French chef Bernard Tronche of St. Emilion and Francisco Islas, a long-time employee of Bernard’s, and is named for their sons.

I wanted to sample, and opted for the street tacos. I selected one with red snapper, one with chicken and one vegetarian. All were excellent. I’d order the snapper only next time, because they’re unique. I made my meal a “plate” which comes with two sides. I chose the mushrooms, which were perfect, and a salad, which was a small mound of (intentionally) wilted lettuce with some sort of goodness on it (I didn’t pay attention to the details on the salad, but it tasted good). I liked the chips and salsa. Very important.

Marian chose the veggie quesadillas. Not my favorite item at any restaurant. P&J’s version was tasty, but maintained the classic characteristics that would keep me from choosing this dish, too cheesy and too greasy. Turner got a ground beef taco. He had been timid about eating anything much since surgery. But, for a five-year-old, he is a meat connoisseur and this taco made the grade.

The server explained that Paco & John is open for breakfast and lunch, Saturday brunch, closed on Sunday’s and soon hopes to have a liquor license. I think she indicated that the license would mean they’d expand their hours to include dinner, but I didn’t catch all that she said.

I will definitely go back, and I recommend it to anyone seeking high quality, fresh food with a Mexican flare at reasonable prices. I wish there were more restaurants like this joint

Paco & John is located at 1116 8th Avenue, Fort Worth 76104, 817-810-0032.

Will Write For Food.

As I near the end of my longstanding employment with my current company, I am beginning to consider what’s next in the work realm.

Again, my goal is to return to school full time at Dallas Theological Seminary for a master’s in Biblical counseling. I have sent a few emails to the school and called to schedule an appointment with the program director. So far, no luck getting the next steps going. I hope to clear this up soon, and finalize my admission into the program and register for classes for summer and fall.

While going to school, I hope to work part time.  I have begun to look for options.

If possible, I’d like to write professionally. I figure that may be a long-shot. But, I’m searching for possibilities anyway.  I have been searching online for part-time writing jobs. I have sent some resumes.

If the dream job writing from the location of my choice doesn’t come together, I’d like to find something that would offer me an office where I could study for my classes when I am not working.

No answers yet. Still thinking. Praying. Wondering.

Surgical Stress.

Turner, our third child, the one with cystic fibrosis, also has endured bilateral ptosis, i.e., both of his eyelids are droopy. 

The droopy eyelids have given him a perpetually tired look. And, unfortunately, we have heard for years how tired he looks, from strangers to family members, regularly.  To me, that’s no way to live.  Further, the drooping has been significant enough that he sometimes tilts his head back to see.  Also, he has an astigmatism and some vision impairment, likely resulting from the ptosis.

Since he was one, we have monitored this with a pediatric opthamologist.  The doctor suggested early on that one day we likely would want to correct this.  Initially, we had some hope initially it might correct on its own.  It did not.  There is hope that correcting the ptosis could correct the vision and the astigmatism.  And, the lids might droop less, thereby eliminating the tired look.

The recommendation was to do the surgery before Kindergarten. I believe that is generally because it’s a good idea to fix this sort of thing before school starts and because recovery is better for younger kids. 

My wife was concerned about putting him through it, more than anything.  Turner’s hospitalization last summer was traumatic for him.  The first day, he got an IV inserted.  It took about three tries, with a room full of nurses, two of them sticking him repeatedly, and at least 20 minutes of horror, but it seemed like an hour.  Then, the IV pushed meds hurt him going in, as did the saline flushes in between.  Frankly, the experience traumatized him.  For the rest of the week, any time a nurse or anyone remotely medical seeming entered his hospital room, he was scared.  After a week of that, he had surgery to remove his adenoids and tonsils and clear his sinuses.  I’m sure there was some pain from the surgeries and he was not himself for well over a week, even after we were home. 

So, we have debated whether to do the ptosis corrective surgery at all.  Our plan was to do it this coming summer.  But, with our insurance changing soon, we decided to go ahead and do it now.  We very much like the doctor, and trust his advice and recommendations.  So, my mind was generally at ease.

Today was the procedure.  Turner ate a tiny bite of his brother’s food this morning, a piece of a rice puff.  Because of the food, the anesthesiologist said that we could not proceed with the 10am surgery, due to the risk of him coughing up the food during surgery and getting it into his lungs, which could create infection/pneumonia.  So, the surgery was postponed.  We returned to the hospital at noon for a 1pm time slot.  The surgery actually didn’t start until closer to 3pm. The opthamologist reported the surgery went well. 

Unfortunately, when he woke up in the recovery room, with an IV in his arm, ointment in his eyes and nurses around him, he was terrified.  He screamed and flailed for several minutes. Even after the flailing stopped, the screaming continued.  His eyes hurt, so he said.  The nurses reassured us that it was likely discomfort from the ointment in his eyes and a gritty feeling from the surgery, as well as confusion from the meds.  He kept reaching for his eyes, which we were told to prohibit.  That was a struggle and he yanked out his IV.  Blood spurted all over him, the floor and Marian.  Eventually, he calmed down, briefly.  He cried off and on until we got him home, and mom got him a bath an his pajamas on.  He’s watching Nick Jr. on TV on the couch, or listening to it anyway.  A semblance of normalcy has returned at least momentarily. 

We will alternate Tylenol and Motrin in an attempt to avoid pain medication.  This surgery creates extra taut eyelids.  Apparently, for a stretch, he will sleep with his eyes open!  We have to administer ointment four times per day.  We won’t know for some time whether the procedure produces the desired results.  I gather it could be six months before his eyelids are at the stage they will be post surgery.  Sometimes, this step is not enough and a second, more invasive procedure is needed.  Marian says no thanks to that one.  And, at the moment, I tend to agree.  Let’s hope this one worked!

Why Doesn’t Sonicare?

I brush my teeth too hard. Always have. Seems like it cleans better.

But, it’s not a simple conscious effort.  Interestingly, I remember pressing too hard when writing with pencils as a child, and breaking them often. Crayons too.

I have gum recession. Two dentists told me this was from brushing too hard. My current dentist told me that it was from grinding my teeth. I suspect it could be both. Drat.

My dental hygienist cousin told me to get an electric toothbrush. I have had one before, from the dentists recommendation for my brushing problem. Can’t recall why I quit using it.

My kids’ dental hygienist told me several months ago that the kids should use electric toothbrushes.

The weekend before last, I bought three Sonicare toothbrush sets at Costco. Each box came with two handles, a charger and three brush heads. All six of us at my house got new electric toothbrushes. It was a small fortune, but I assumed it was worth it, for our oral hygiene and to save our gums, my eroded ones especially.

I bet I have used that new toothbrush 10 times. Tonight, I dropped it. I can’t even explain what happened. I was using it. I moved it out of my mouth to rinse it off, as sonically mixed saliva and toothpaste goo was dripping everywhere. And, in one mysterious swoop, the unit flung out of my hand and onto the slate floor of my bathroom. ARGH!

I picked it up, cringing. Of course, it no longer worked. I tapped it, pushed the button several times, set it on the charger a few times. Nothing. I went onto the Philips web site and found a chat feature.

Laura tells me, quite curtly, that my warranty is not voided and the unit is not serviceable. I asked if this was because of the droppage. She confirmed ever so impolitely. I asked if I could purchase just the one handle unit, rather than an entire set. She reiterated that the Sonicare is not serviceable. “That was not my question,” LAURA!, I said, without actually using her name. She confirmed that the handles are not sold separately and an entire unit would need to be purchased. I expressed my disappointment. Laura had nothing else to say.

Through my own searching, I found that this item comes with just one handle and the accessories, if bought through the web site, which is a bit less expensive than the double unit set I bought at Costco. But, at $129 for the one, I am highly irritated to buy another so soon! And, I am extremely disappointed in Philips for not making a product that could withstand a normal drop onto a bathroom floor. And, worse yet, that they don’t sell the parts! Or, service the darn things. I realize servicing a toothbrush is a stretch. But, I used this thing less than a week (as I did not open until a few days after I bought it). I had a strange sense when I bought the thing it wasn’t going to live up to my expectations.

The web site has a 90-day money back offer, FOR ANY REASON, so it says. But, I am sure the COSTCO receipt is long gone already. Double ARGH!!

Educational Pursuits.

As previously noted, I once thought I would get a PhD in psychology. After working in the field, I was discouraged by my doctoral-level colleagues who felt that the time and money spent on a PhD in psychology could be better spent in other fields with more lucrative results. I took heed.

When I decided to leave my career in the mental health field, I enrolled in chemistry and physics at UTA, thinking I would try to complete the prerequisites for medical school. HA! There was a good reason I never took those math-based sciences in high school or college. After a few weeks of rather frustrating attempts to keep up the pace in those large, weed-out undergraduate science classes, I decided I had endured enough.

I remember to this day driving from my office at Dallas County MHMR to UTA to withdraw from chemistry and physics. I was intensely in the moment. I arrived on campus and parked near the records building. In my head, I was truly done. I wanted to get out of those classes and NEVER go back to school again. I marched into the building, filled out the forms, and marched back out to my car. DONE. I already had a master’s degree. I didn’t need to go back to school anyway. I was irritable and ashamed that I had even tried something as foolish as enrolling in chemistry and physics. Real math was never my thing anyway, so what made me think I could tackle physics?

I got in the car, sat down, put the key in the ignition and turned it. The car would not start. The tension increased. I tried a few more times. Nothing. I waited, took some deep breaths, tried again. Nothing. I was mad. I had a company cell phone with me, one of those old fashioned large ones. I called a friend to come and get me.

My friend and I worked together. She had been my supervisor. But, we both wanted to go back to school and needed to reduce our work hours to do so. We were able to negotiate a special arrangement with the director of child and adolescent services at MHMR to enable us to share a position. Together, we oversaw the therapeutic foster care program that I had developed and managed for several years. She was going to Dallas Theological Seminary for a master’s in Biblical studies, while I flopped in those awful undergraduate science classes. Anyway, luckily, my friend was at the office when I needed help escaping from UTA, and she agreed to come and get me.

I sat there in the car, waiting, and trying to decrease my irritability before my friend arrived. A clarity came to me suddenly. My attitude was all wrong. I was not supposed to leave that school with the decision that I was done with education. I was going to get more education. Honestly, it made no sense to me. And, it was NOT what I wanted to believe at the time. But, I knew that it was reality. And, I knew I needed to accept it. So, I just cleared my head and agreed that I would do what seemed right, including more education, if that truly seemed correct and the opportunity came about. Sigh.

So, I tried the ignition one more time. The car started. I drove off, while calling my friend to cancel the pick up. Clearly, I got the message I was supposed to get. I knew then it was from God. But, I didn’t have any details.

That message stuck with me. I enrolled in chemistry twice more at two different junior colleges. The second time, I withdrew on the first day of class. I can’t even recall why. The third time, I started the class, barely. The second week, we started a lab and I knew that I did not want to be in there. I dropped chemistry for the last time. Medical school was clearly not the plan.

Determined not to be defeated, I enrolled in anatomy and physiology. I had always liked the biological sciences. I figured I could pass that one, and I needed the mental boost. As it turned out, it was a breeze. I made As on everything. Actually, I made over 100 on tests and lab quizzes, consistently. I even wrote a paper for extra credit, which I obviously did not need. I was driven to ace that freaking class. As we approached the final, my grade was so high that I could make a zero on the final and still get an A for the semester. I suggested to the instructor that I might skip for that reason. He scoffed at me, obviously thinking that was foolish. So, I agreed to show. But, on the day of the final, I emailed him and said I had decided to skip it after all, and thanked him for the A in advance, which I earned. I like telling that story, especially after the chemistry debacle. I never took another science course. Why ruin the perfect ending.

However, I later enrolled in a doctoral level psychology class at UNT. I withdrew after a few weeks, not because I didn’t like it, and not because I couldn’t do the work. But, the class was getting intense quickly. I had gotten special permission to try out one class. But, admission into the program required full-time study. I was married and had a mortgage. I realized that I was not willing to go to school full time.

Later still, I went to Texas Wesleyan School of Law for a year, part-time at night. A wife, two kids and a full time job left me juggling a lot on top of law school. But, the material was very interesting and kept me going. I attended school four nights per week. I studied all day Saturday and Sunday at my office. I made the Dean’s list in the fall and the spring semesters.

That spring, I totally blanked out while trying to write the appellate brief for legal writing. Writing had always come easy for me. Throughout college and grad school, I wrote all of my papers in a fast-paced stream of consciousness, always getting As, never a problem. In fact, I even ranked first in my legal writing class the first semester. But, in that second semester, in the middle of that big paper, I was completely stuck and a strange panic ensued. For me, that was a clear sign that things were not working. I had a serious conversation with God at that moment. Sadly, I knew then that I would not finish law school. But, I simply did not want to go out with a flop in a writing class. I bargained with God. I asked for the ability to finish the appellate brief and get through the semester, but I agreed to be done, if that was His plan, when the moment was clear the next time. I finished my prayer, got up and wrote the paper with ease, no more brain freeze. Interestingly, there was a strange snafu. The paper that I submitted was not the final copy. Somehow, in my editing, I did not properly save the final edited version. An entire section of explanation was omitted and there were mistakes in a paragraph that I had fixed. Oddly, I did not even realize this when I printed and bound the paper. I realized it after I turned it in, but the final version was nowhere to be found. This was odd, as I had been saving duplicate copies of my edits as I went, and even emailed myself most of the versions to avoid losing anything. Consequently, the work was not quite up to my standards. Still, I tied for second in the writing class second semester.

I scraped by with barely a C in my summer class, Civil Procedure. Uh oh. By the fall of my second year, I was exhausted. My Constitutional Law professor was new, and took the Socratic Method very seriously. I was stressed. In order to keep up, I was going to have to give up my one night off. Marian and I had dinner together and watched movies every Friday night. I could not continue to do this and keep up with law school. That was irritating. Also, I had advanced in my role at work. I was making more money than when I started law school. There was potential for more responsibility and even more income at work. But, with school, I was reluctant to take it on. Then, my uncle came into town. I wanted to hang out rather than go to school and study all weekend, missing the visit entirely. It seemed like there was no time for important things in life. But, I went to class. The Con Law professor was grilling students. I just knew I would be called on. Although I had done all the reading, as I always did, I did not feel prepared. In the heat of the class that night, I felt my time was up. A nudge from God, so it seemed. During class, I told God I would withdraw, and asked Him to get me through that class without getting called on. I didn’t get called on. When class was over, I told my study buddies I was done. I withdrew the next day. Admittedly, I had some regrets afterwards, but that was due to all the work I had put in. I was confused by the experience, but it was the right choice. So, I thought I was done with school. My plans to get a doctorate were over, no PhD, no MD, no JD. No more school!

Lately, I have been giving serious thought to what’s next for me. And, after a lot of focus on God to attempt to discern His intentions, it seems clearer to me than ever before that school is still in the plan. Admittedly, the details of the logistics are not completely clear to me yet. But, I believe I will in fact be going back to school, though not for a doctorate.

I applied to Dallas Theological Seminary last spring. My goal at the time was simply to take Bible study classes online. I had no intentions of another degree and no plans to change careers in that direction whatsoever. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I deferred my enrollment, as I thought I would be dealing with her illness when school started. As it turned out, she died last summer. But, I was not prepared to renew the enrollment plans in time for the fall. Then, as talks to sell my company progressed further, I decided not to enroll in the Spring semester either, as I felt I should first figure out my career plans before pursuing a personal interest side endeavor.

As I considered career options, I learned that DTS offers a master’s in Biblical counseling. The program prepares students for state licensure as an LPC. The license enables private practice as a counselor. In college, I imagined I eventually would work in private practice as a psychologist. However, a PhD is required for licensure as a psychologist and I never got the doctorate. With my master’s, I obtained the psychological associate’s license, which seemed to offer no real value. The counseling track permits master’s level clinicians to be fully licensed. The seminary coursework includes 30 credits of Bible study that interests me personally. So, now, my plan is to go back to my roots in the mental health field.

On the one hand, this plan to return to school seems potentially a bit crazy now, at my age, with four kids. On the other hand, it seems clear to me that this is God’s plan. Admittedly, there is an awkward aspect to this realization, especially after all of the educational foibles described above. Yet, I have no intention of ignoring the message. As long as God keeps opening doors in this direction, I plan to pursue it. If He does not intend this, I believe he’ll make it clear.

The next step is to meet with the program director to put the pieces together and move forward.

The TNT.

Almost 14 years ago, I began working for TNT Marketing, national convenience store broker. TNT is a sales and marketing organization, representing the makers of numerous top-branded products to the convenience store class of trade. Clients include General Mills, Bayer, Duracell, ConAgra Dole, Mattel and more. Strategically located in DFW, near the 7-Eleven headquarters and not far from the McLane Corporation central office, the largest c-store retailer and wholesaler respectively, TNT offers nationwide service and focused expertise.

In 1996, I began in the marketing department, creating sales materials and presentations to prospective clients. I had left the mental health field after earning a master’s in psychology and managing a program in children’s social services for several years. The job I left amounted to quite a lot of responsibility and relatively low pay. I was ready for a change. TNT was a great fit. A decent job, with comparable pay, and a lot less responsibility. Admittedly, my goal at the time was for this job to be a stop gap. I thought I would go back to school, once I figured out what I wanted to be.

I attempted school, repeatedly. I started some science courses, thinking that I might pursue a career in the medical field. As much as I liked biology in college, chemistry and physics are not for me. Later, I tried a doctoral-level class at University of North Texas, in the psychology department’s behavioral medicine program. A few weeks into it, I realized I was not prepared to go back to school full time, which would have been required upon acceptance into the the program. In 2002, I enrolled in law school part time. I made it one year, and managed to make the Dean’s list for two semesters. However, juggling the intensity of school on top of a full-time job and a family was crazy busy. At the start of the second year, the Socratic Method pushed me over the edge and I withdrew.

All the while, I kept plugging along at TNT Marketing. I hired an advertising and public relations agency to help develop our brand and take our corporate image to a new level. We expanded the marketing department to add staff. As the company grew, we increased professionalism overall. I developed the human resources efforts and hired a consulting firm to facilitate that effort as well. Eventually, I assumed the role of overseeing all of the non-sales departments, including marketing, advertising and public relations, accounting, IT, facilities, HR, and the account administration and customer service groups. With a good sounding title, VP Operations, and a broad range of things to dabble in, my job became interesting and experience enhancing.

My dad founded the business in 1994. He stepped back several years ago, officially retiring completely last year, and our new president has carried the torch for awhile now. My mother worked with the company, until she died last year. My brother was there for a time. Uncles came and went. My step-sister remains today. For me, it has been a family business, as well as a long-time career. Those days are gone now.

This week, official letters were mailed to the ESOP participants with ballots for them to vote on the sale of the company. (About half of our company is employee-owned with almost all of our employees and some former employees involved. The other half is held by a small group of us who own shares directly.) The buying entity is a large broker in the grocery class of trade. We have been approached by a few of them in recent years. Finally, the right deal came together, and the senior management group at TNT decided the proposal was worthy of putting it to a vote. In reality, it seems clear to me now that the sale will go through.

I am excited about the potential of the new venture. CROSSMARK, the buying company, seems very well managed. I have met the owners and they all seem like sensible, genuine, intelligent and driven individuals. I have toured the facility, and it is remarkable. I have observed presentations and heard many facts and figures. Everything about the place seems impressive. While the minor details have not been completely ironed out, it seems clear that this deal will be good for our people, thankfully. I believe most of them will accept employment there. The industry-focused expertise of the TNT team and the comprehensive professional resources of the CROSSMARK brand will combine to make the new venture, TNT Marketing, a division of CROSSMARK (or however it will be worded), a force to be reckoned with in the c-store class of trade. This is great news for everyone involved. 

For me, personally, it means the end of an era. My role overseeing various departments at our small business doesn’t translate easily into a large corporation environment. The people at the new place were very kind and there was some talk of trying to find me a position. But, there was no clarity on what I might be doing. And, there was no logical way for me to ensure any sort of longevity in that situation. Further, the location is quite far from my home. My wife and I were concerned about uprooting our family from Fort Worth, where we have strong connections and support, and quality medical care for our child with cystic fibrosis. In the end, we have agreed to part ways, TNT and me.

So, a new chapter of life begins soon.

Welcome All Candidates.

Jacob tells Hurley to lure Jack to the lighthouse. When Dogen confronts Hurley in the temple, Jacob tells Hurley to tell him that he’s a candidate and he can do what he wants. Dogen responds to this and leaves. Jacob insists that Hurley can’t accomplish the task without Jack.

Jack follows Hurley to the lighthouse, as lured. When they get there, there are names on the wheel with the associated numbers. I missed it, but Lostpedia notes that Austen is listed, so, apparently, Kate’s not excluded, though we didn’t see her on the cave wall.

The most interesting thing this episode was Jack seeing reflections in the lighthouse mirror as the wheel rotated through the names. He saw his childhood home, demanded answers from Hurley who didn’t have them, then he broke the mirror, in typical Jack fashion. Jack is frustrating to watch, and definitely not one of my favorite characters. But, clearly, he has a role in this process. And, I appreciate his confusion in figuring out his path. Unlike Hurley, Jack can’t accept simple instructions, and has to figure things out on his own. Much to Jack’s detriment, he takes the long way around, whereas Hurley has the calm and innate ability to see and hear what he needs to in order to accomplish the tasks he is called to do.

We’d all do better to be more like Hurley and less like Jack. Not so easy always, though.

The flash sideways bored me, again. Alt-Jack tries to be a good father to son David. He shows up at his conservatory audition to hear him play. The signs says “Welcome All Candidates.” I saw it, but didn’t associate it with the island term “candidate” until I read that on Lostpedia.

The Claire in the jungle scenes didn’t grab me. She axed the Other. Fine. She’s playing Jin and he her. I still wonder how she’s become so Rousseau like, and where she picked up her survival skills. I guess the friendly not-Locke taught her.

This week’s Lostpedia entry is not fleshed out yet, so not much to read now, but some basic bullet points. Wonder what else I missed. But, overall, this episode was not a thrill for me. Where are all the answers they keep promising???